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‘Gutfeld!’ on Trump, DeSantis and MAGA Republicans

This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on September 21, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: That’s true. That’s true. All right. Yes. Happy Wednesday. Happy Wednesday, everyone. What a great show we have tonight. I’m so excited Jared Kushner has joined us. Good evening.


GUTFELD: If you look closer you can see the regret starting to take shape on his face. And for some reason, we welcome back Mike Baker. Let’s hope he can complete a sentence using only 50 umms and 24 groans.



GUTFELD: Yes. Mike Baker, when you need a coherent thought in 24 hours, don’t call him. Yes. All right. So ever since Joe Biden’s speech from the innermost circle of hell, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future of this country. He warned us of a terrible threat. And, no, not that he ate fiber before boarding the roller coaster at Six Flags. It’s the extreme-MAGA Republican who apparently number in the dozens or perhaps millions.

We really never get a head count on the threat. We’re not even sure they have heads. But the vagueness of the threat certainly is convenient, mainly because it’s hard to count something that doesn’t really exist. Unlike, say, the persistent and violent crime we now experience every single day across this country. Oddly, none of that is caused by people in red hats. Fact is, extreme-MAGA aren’t like sheep.

You can’t count them to fall asleep because there’s really not enough of them. And for a Democrat, it’s best never to know how truly big the threat is or it might actually end up going away.

Fact is, Trump supporters are the new climate change. We can’t quantify it, but we can tell you it’s evil. But the fear tactic, it’s effective. Thanks to Joe and the media, we now have a Democratic majority in a poll who believe that Trump supporters are a serious threat to democracy. Hell, they even got 25 percent of Republicans to agree. But let’s be honest, those are the really dumb ones.

When those who heard 25 percent they thought, all right, our best approval numbers ever. And of course, you had the Democrats pushing the idea that violence is looming around the corner. Here’s Eric Swalwell, in between bouts of rampant farting and having sex with Chinese spies, talking about the coming wave of violent Republicans.


REP. ERIC SWALWELL (D-CA): They are so out of alignment with mainstream America where they can’t win the majority of votes in elections, that they now are more comfortable with violence than voting because that’s their only path to enacting their political agenda.


GUTFELD: Remember when that guy ran for president? Yes. Neither can he. I think he polled lower than Kamala Harris, which is like saying you polled lower than anal warts. No offense to people with anal warts, it’s a common problem, Mike?

BAKER: It’s nothing that ointment can’t clear up.

GUTFELD: Yes, it’s true. So I decided to do some research about this MAGA threat. I know, as a big star, I shouldn’t have to do that. But it was either that or bare knuckle boxing with Dagen McDowell and her office. Besides, my intern was busy with my laundry. Kilmeade, is such a heavy bleeder. So since Joe and the media never ever name the actual threats, referring to it to be an amorphous, anonymous blob like manmade climate change or Joy Behar’s body odor.

I wanted to see if I could put a name to this demon. Perhaps it’s one of these Republican candidates running for office. After all, all they ever talk about is pornography.


UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Can you define what pornographic means for you in terms of books in K-12 schools?

TUDOR DIXON (R-MI) GUBERNATORIAL CANDIDATE: Do you need me to define pornographic? I mean, I can if you want me to. All right. So there’s two naked people and they are acting out a sexual act. So, in multiple different sexual acts, do you want me to send you some, so you can see them? That would be fine, because I feel like it would be a little awkward.



GUTFELD: I love her. I really love her. Why did she stop? Honestly, I kind of wish she kept going. I was just getting into it. I was moments away from whipping out my credit card. Credit card. Let’s see Gretchen Whitmer match that kind of pillow talk. But then again, maybe not, the FBI might try to kidnap her again. Oh, so yes, it’s kinky and all, but is it a threat to democracy? Unless by democracy you mean my pants.

However, that’s terrible. However, I think I finally found the threat to this great republic.

Her name is Linda Paulson. I’m sure you agree. She is a monster. Hey, Utah District 12, you better listen up right here, because that’s a new name on the ballot for the state Senate this year.


LINDA PULSON, UTAH REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE: Hey, Utah District 12 listen up right here, there’s a new name on the ballot for the senate this year. My name is Linda Paulson, Republican and awesome, love God and family and the constitution. We try to get another conservative to run, nobody could do it so I’m getting it done.


GUTFELD: All right. She’s rapping and she’s adorable. And if she’s smoking any weed, it’s definitely medicinal. But damn it, Linda, I wonder if you are pro-religious freedom, pro-life and pro-police.


PULSON: I’m pro religious freedom, pro-life, pro-police. The right to bear arms and the right to free speech. I want less government, control and regulation, want to stop and expose all political corruption. Where is integrity, morality, accountability, government program should lead to self-sufficiency and support traditional family. As a fundamental unit of society. But in schools they are pushing for new beliefs and just to clarify because there’s someone who can’t define this. As a female adult I know what a woman is.


GUTFELD: Yes, she knows what a woman is. Quick, someone introduce her to Ketanji Brown-Jackson.

But no wonder she’s dangerous, she thinks there’s two biological sexes. I hope the DOJ, the FBI and the IRS have her on their list and not for overusing the AARP discount. Because I wonder if she loves this country.


PULSON: I love this country. It’s a blessing to be free but freedom comes with responsibility, the constitution needs to be protected, not change or disregard it but resurrected. If you share my values, if you like what I stand for then give me your vote on the 8th of November. District 12 needs a choice, let me be your voice, Linda Paulson. Linda Paulson for senate.


GUTFELD: So Linda Paulson for senate. Now, there’s a real threat to democracy. She’s Joe McCarthy in drag, which probably means she’s a decent person, a nice lady, and should be elected because currently nobody fits that description who works in D.C. You could call her the bizarro Hillary Clinton and I would vote for her, but I’m not a citizen of Utah, and I’m not allowed after that incident with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.


GUTFELD: Mormon Tabernacle Choir. That’s the last time I inquire about a missionary position. Still, if that’s the face of the Republican Party, no wonder the Dems are scared. A senior citizen who likes to rap. Hey, I think I just described Bret Baier.



GUTFELD: Somewhere, Vanilla Ice is rolling in his grave.


GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. He brought Democrat’s grief by bringing peace to the Middle East. Former senior adviser to President Trump and author or the number one book, Breaking History, Jared Kushner. He does his best work undercover and under the covers. Former CIA operative and host of Black Files Declassified on Discovery Science Channel, Mike Baker. She’s like a Beanie Baby, cute but we all thought she’d be worth more money by now. Fox News Contributor, Kat Timpf.

And fortune tellers call his palms war and peace because they take forever to read. I know. My massive sidekick and the NWA world television champion, Tyrus.

Jared, congratulations. Number one on the New York Times bestseller list. I bet they’re thrilled.

KUSHNER: They really enjoyed putting it there. I can imagine.

GUTFELD: Yes, there is one flaw. I checked the index. I — not mentioned in this book at all.

KUSHNER: I think that was the first version you’re in, but it must have gotten cut. So we apologize for that.

GUTFELD: Would you please put it back in? I expect an entire chapter on how I influenced the administration. What do you — how — do you feel like you are a threat to democracy? Because you’re part of the Trump world?

KUSHNER: According to what I hear, sometimes I do think they are. You know, I think what the people in Washington didn’t understand about Trump voters is that they wanted things like low gas prices, low taxes, they wanted peace in the world. They didn’t want to have wars in Ukraine, or, you know, China being provocative. And that was really why I wrote the book. I want people to understand all the things that happened during the Trump administration, despite all the craziness, you would constantly see in the press.

Whether it was accusing us, you saw Eric Swalwell earlier accusing us of colluding with Russia for two years, which turned out we didn’t collude with Russia, we want to campaign. And so you had all these different currents that we wanted to cover. And that’s what — when I traveled the country, I saw it Trump voters were just good people who wanted their country restored in the way that they wanted to live. And so, that was what I tried to portray.

GUTFELD: That’s what I liked about your book is that you basically — you weren’t part of this world, you were kind of forced through marriage, you were probably just the basics, typical New York liberal. I’ll put that in. But you had to change, you had to go out, you had to — you got to hang out with these people. And you turn out, well, this thing is real. These are real people. And I thought that was interesting.

I’m going to piss off so many people. But I thought that this book is the best book about the administration. And I think that will probably upset a few people that are — come on this show, just because like — I tell you, you can explain behind the scenes of a lot of stuff that I like, you know, I wanted like the middle — the Middle East peace process, you knew nothing about this. You didn’t even know you were going to work on it.


GUTFELD: You didn’t know it, and then you go and you do it. And you succeed, because you’re not a diplomat, you actually succeeded because you’re not a D.C. diplomat. Anyway, I blow too much smoke up here.

KUSHNER: But I will say — well, first of all, thank you, you could do more of that if you’d like to. I can just be quiet and let you go. But I will say that I think that what was very important for me to portray to people is that I wasn’t a New York liberal. I think I was somebody who was a pragmatist. And I think that we have all the titles today, but I really show what it was like to travel through the country, explore, meet people, have an open mind and learn about things like the Middle East.

Learn about things like what the policies were that people wanted, and then see how President Trump and his administration delivered those things.

GUTFELD: Yes. So while you were helping people, Mike Baker, you were killing them.

BAKER: Only the ones that weren’t helping.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. That’s right. You’re only killed by bad people. Mike, is that what you do?


GUTFELD: Would you like to comment on — how about Miss Paulson? I mean, corny but really good.

BAKER: Yes. I mean, first of all, if I might say, you’re working on the Middle East policies, well done, didn’t get enough appreciation or (INAUDIBLE)

KUSHNER: I really know that.

BAKER: Second —


GUTFELD: — green room.

BAKER: If I may — that was between you and me. Second, as far as Tudor Dixon goes — and — since when this pornography only involve two people? And no —

GUTFELD: It’s such a good point.

BAKER: And no lama. I mean, what kind of porn is she watching? But — yes, and as far as Linda Paulson goes, God bless her. She kind of reminds me of my mom in a wake, you know, rest her soul. But if you’re a white person, and you decide to turn your campaign ad into a rap video, then be prepared to get kicked in the ass, right? On social media, which is what happened and then move on. Fine.

I think it’s fun. Honestly, you know, I don’t think we’re going to see a lot of these from her. So —

GUTFELD: That’s a safe prediction, Mike.

BAKER: She’s a one hair wonder.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes. She is, she is. How about you, Kat? What did you make of her performance?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, I just feel like, if you’re going to do a rap, you should ask yourself first. Is my name Linda? I mean, if it is, you got to be prepared that baby the reaction is going to be mixed. It was cringe worthy. And of course, I say this as somebody who like I don’t have enough rhythm for the choreography and a SoulCycle class. And that’s not so much a joke is something I had to learn the hard way.

But like she didn’t really seem to be trying.


TIMPF: She was clearly recorded that one time with no thought of rhythm or cadence or anything else.

GUTFELD: I can’t believe you’re seriously criticizing this. I was more critical of the music. I thought the music was not as good as her voice.

TIMPF: Seriously critical is really an overemphazation of how much I care. I’m not going to listen to it again recreationally.

GUTFELD: Oh, I am. I’m going to have it on repeat all night, Tyrus, in the hot tub. You know what I’m saying?



TYRUS: No, I loved it. And I — and I — what I loved the most about it, because we seem to forget. And the — this is where the media was kind of tells themselves. The first thing that you heard from all these media experts left side was how she wasn’t black. And I found like, wow, man, that’s a really racist thing to say that an art form can’t be expressed by anyone. Yes, sure, rhythm was off, you know it, but her heart was in it.

And I listen to the whole thing because I was laughing and to put a smile on my face. And that’s kind of the whole point of what rap is. And I guess no one ever heard of Eminem, or the Beastie Boys. You know, I’m saying it’s an art form.

BAKER: He left off Vanilla Ice.

TYRUS: Well, Vanilla Ice left himself out.

GUTFELD: RIP by the way.

TYRUS: Yes. But he’s still alive, Gutfeld. But — and probably waiting for you in the parking lot.


TYRUS: But the — but the point is, is like this is what we see.


TYRUS: Somebody does something out the box. And the first thing that the left does is they remind us all that like, whoa, whoa, only black people can do that. Says who? Well, good for her.

GUTFELD: Linda proved it.

TYRUS: Yes, no, but hey, you — rhyming constitution is hard for anybody.

GUTFELD: Exactly. It’s true.

TYRUS: And she did it. And you know what? I know exactly where she stands on everything. You find another politician right now? Well, you know exactly where they stand.

GUTFELD: They should all be rapping.

TYRUS: You know it. We all know where she stands, where she’s about, how happy she is. Both her hips work.


TYRUS: Like she had a lot of things going on. Good for her. I hope she does another one.

GUTFELD: Excellent point. You know what? I when I host the Fox debate in 2024, which I haven’t told anybody yet. I’m going to make all — I am hosting the Fox debate.

TYRUS: Film drops 16 bars, go, what do you got?

GUTFELD: No, no. I’m going to have all the candidates rap their — rap their —


TYRUS: That’s what 16 bars means, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Oh, geez.

TYRUS: You want to criticize her?

GUTFELD: That’s a boomer.

TYRUS: You want to criticize her? You know the language?

TIMPF: That’s now what I — I meant rap.

BAKER: Just seems to me you’re getting your ass kicked here.



GUTFELD: I’ll go back to Idaho.


GUTFELD: Up next. You think these hosts were dropped on their head given the dumping (INAUDIBLE)


GUTFELD: Welcome back. Some T.V. hosts are dumber than posts. Yes, it’s a deep dive where few brain cells ever survive. Time once again for.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Heroes in media. How do you function when you’re this (BLEEP) up?


GUTFELD: First during a discussion of potential 2024 Republican presidential candidates, Sunny Hostin accused Nikki Haley, who’s the daughter of Indian immigrant parents of using a white sounding name. Yes, a woman who calls herself Sunny accused another woman of a made-up nickname. She’s funny.


ALYSSA FARAH GRIFFIN, FORMER WHITE HOUSE DIRECTOR OF STRATEGIC COMMUNICATIONS: I’d love to see Nikki Haley. I’d love to see Liz Cheney. I’d love to see —

SUNNY HOSTIN, HOST, THE VIEW: And Nikki Haley the chameleon and Liz Cheney who’s now the savior or —


GRIFFIN: I disagree. I think — I think — I think that Nikki Haley was incredibly effective governor of South Carolina.

HOSTIN: Wait. I have a question (INAUDIBLE)


HOSTIN: Aside from Ron DeSantis —

GRIFFIN: A lot of people don’t go by their actual real names.

HOSTIN: What is her real name?

GRIFFIN: Yes. I believe it’s — I believe it’s — I don’t want to mispronounce it. It’s Indian but she’s —


HOSTIN: You know, I think if she leaned into.


GRIFFIN: A ton of people don’t go by their color.



GUTFELD: What a festival of stupid. I didn’t realize how bad that was. Yes, a discussion of why women of color need to lean into their real names on a show co-hosted by Karen Johnson AKA Whoopi Goldberg. A name that appropriates Jewish culture and whoopee cushions. Surely Sunny won’t double down on this stupid. Will she?


GRIFFIN: Nikki Haley has gone by Nikki since she was a child. It’s documented in high school. I wouldn’t be shocked that if somebody, an Indian woman growing up in South Carolina at that time, she actually did to avoid prejudice or just want to be careful about critiquing her for going bad names —


HOSTIN: Yes. There was some — there are some of us that can be chameleons and decide not to embrace our ethnicity so that we can pass —


GRIFFIN: Sunny, I don’t think that’s fair.

SARA HAINES, HOST, THE VIEW: You go by a different name. I didn’t want to be the one to say it.


HOSTIN: Yes, most Americans can’t pronounce Asuncion because of the under- education in our country.


GUTFELD: What a — what a (BLEEP) jackass. I hate — I hate swearing like that. But my God, A, she keeps bringing up chameleons. BREUER:, you’re the reason why she had to change your name because you’re stupid, because you can’t pronounce her name. What an arrogant jackass and I wrote the book on arrogant jackassery. So it’s OK for her to use a fake name because you’re just too stupid to say you are the real — I already said that.

But unlike Sunny, Nikki Haley does use her real name. She tweeted. Thanks for your concern, Sunny. It’s racist of you to judge my name. Nikki is an Indian name on my birth certificate. I’m proud of that. Well, I’m proud of my birth certificate too. It has my original name which is Gregor Tron Thunderlips Fabio Jr. In other stupid people news, while speaking with a royal commentator, Don raised the prospect of the British Royal family paying reparations. It didn’t go as planned.


DON LEMON, CNN ANCHOR: You have those who are asking for reparations, for colonialism, and they’re wondering why are we suffering when you are, you know, you have all of this vast wealth.

HILARY FORDWICH, ROYAL COMMENTATOR: What they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain. That was in Africa and when that crossed the entire world when the slavery was taking place which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery? First nation in the world to abolish it, it was started by William Wilberforce, was the British. 2000 Naval men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery.

Why? Because the African kings were rounding up their own people, no one was running into Africa to get them.


GUTFELD: Hmm. Don looks like he sucked on a lemon. But hey, even if you’re for reparations, it’s way more complicated than it looks, Don just found out. There’s more.


FORDWICH: If reparations needs to be paid, we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say, who was rounding up their own people, I’m having them handcuffed and pages. And maybe I don’t know, the descendants of those families where they died at the in the high seas, trying to stop the slavery that those families should receive funding to I think, same time.

LEMON: It’s an interesting discussion, Hillary. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.


GUTFELD: It’s an interesting discussion. I guess we better go. Performances like that CNN may have to demote him again. So the next time he gets recognized at a restaurant, he’ll be asking if you want fries.

Jared, I got to ask you this. This has been driving me crazy. How do you feel about Alyssa Farah on The View? You work with her. I think she’s stupid. But what do you think?

KUSHNER: I thought we’re going to talk about Don Lemon.

GUTFELD: You could shift to Don Lemon.

KUSHNER: It’s good. No, Alyssa worked well with us in the White House. And I think what she’s done after it’s been a little — a little different. But I’m just commenting on this thing. Usually, CNN doesn’t have people who actually know how to counter their narrative. And so usually it takes maybe 24 hours for them to be proven a little crazy, but it was actually fun to watch that.

GUTFELD: No, it’s true. And you know what it is. TYyrus, I said this today on a show called The Five.


GUTFELD: I said we live in a bubble.

TYRUS: Yes, I was — yes.


GUTFELD: You can’t see around a corner.


GUTFELD: And that means you never know when you could be wrong because —

TYRUS: Because I live in a bubble.

GUTFELD: Yes. And you can’t see.

TYRUS: Right. What’s around you because apparently your bubbles are tinted.


TYRUS: So, no, it has to do with this. And Gutfeld, you dear sweet man.


TYRUS: You don’t know how horribly racist Sunny’s comments were. What a chameleon is, is an Uncle Tom. It is the lowest form. It has be like me if I changed my name to — I don’t know, John Smith and, you know, dyed my hair and refused to acknowledge my ethnicity. So what she was basically saying was that she betrayed her race so she could fit in apparently at the age of birth, she came out she was like, call me Nikki Yo, I got to get, you know.

So, in any other situation, that individual would be fired because that was beyond repair. And I got to give credit to — we’ll call her Whoopi for this argument.


TYRUS: For stopping her because they wouldn’t stop Whoopi. When Whoopi went down that road, none of them stood up for her. So, good for Whoopi for stopping. But the damage was done. And the second thing. Don Lemon, he got woke (BLEEP) is what happened.


TYRUS: You know, and what’s really sad is you didn’t run the whole clip. His ass stutters after that, he was like, we’ll be — we’ll be right — but here’s the problem. Somebody drops knowledge on you like that and takes you to the learning shed. You have her back.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

TYRUS: You bring her right back and you learn and you be like, wow, man, that was something, that blew my mind. It blew his mind and his — and his producer was like, go to commercial, go to commercial, but he would, go to commercial, cut her mic, cut her mic, but they panicked and they got him. We should have her on because you know what? I would like to learn more about those sailors.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

TYRUS: Because I didn’t know that.

GUTFELD: I mean, I consider myself a historian.

TYRUS: You didn’t know what 16 bars was and you thought bubble —


GUTFELD: I didn’t tell you what kind of historian I was.


GUTFELD: But I didn’t even know that story. I didn’t know about that.


GUTFELD: So that’s like — when I heard that, I go, wow, that’s pretty good. That means, you know, that I –that like well, you know, it’s something I didn’t know which is so hard.

TYRUS: Woke the — up. You woke. That’s woke now. He’s wide awake.

GUTFELD: Cat, would you care to comment on the dumbest show on earth, The View or the dumbest man on earth? Don Lemon?

TIMPF: You missed it like real dumb thing he said recently was that him being moved from a primetime show that’s all his own to a morning show that he shares it to other hosts is not a demotion.


TIMPF: Like — yes, it is.

GUTFELD: Yes. You could argue they told him that it wasn’t a demotion and because he —


TIMPF: Sure. Yes. He believes whatever you tell and he’s like, OK, yes. Sounds good. With Sunny, it’s — there’s just really nowhere to give her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, if you’re on T.V. and you’re talking for a living about all these different subjects, sometimes maybe you’re not prepared for the discussion. You don’t know everything about everything. You should always come prepared with knowing your own name though.


TIMPF: Like, how are you going to go after someone else when you’re not even sure if what you’re saying is true. And also you’re fully aware that you’re doing the thing you’re accusing that person of and everybody there also knows that. That to me is truly insane.

GUTFELD: But this is the thing. This is the thing, Mikey, about being in a bubble is that none of her friends — like, if she has, like real friends or somebody in her life, she could have seen around the corner and go like you don’t want to make — you know, you have your argument about Nikki Haley, you don’t want to make that your name is Sunny. Nikki’s actually a real name. Sunny is like a name you chose because your name was really long. You’re going to look like a complete idiot if you do this, but when you live in a bubble, you never see that second step.

BAKER: Or when you’re just that righteous.

GUTFELD: Yes, angry.

BAKER: Right. When you’re righteous, and like you’re, you’re railing against somebody who’s been caught in an affair or doing something freaky. You can always guarantee that person that righteous person is doing something you know, doubly freaky down in the basement.

GUTFELD: With a llama.

BAKER: With a llama.


BAKER: Right.

GUTFELD: And let’s not forget her name is Sunny.

BAKER: Well, Son-Seon, so I could see why you get.

GUTFELD: There’s nothing sunny about her. I’ve never seen this —

TYRUS: Yes, may be go with cloudy.


BAKER: Yes, yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. She should have been nicknamed; it should have been cloudy.


TYRUS: — racism.

GUTFELD: Speaking of, his forecasts were top notch until he showed his crotch.


GUTFELD: Weather fans, have you seen this — a partly cloudy forecasts with a chance of penis?

BAKER: Dropping 16 bars.

GUTFELD: Yes, a weatherman got lonely and made a forecast for adults only. True, New York City Weatherman, Erick Adame, put the meet in meteorologist. Even I am blushing. He was suspended and then fired for appearing on an adult webcam site — wait, you can get fired for that? He claims an anonymous user sent nude images of him to his TV station, New York 1, and then to his mother, which is B.S. they get the images free? They have to pay the membership fee.

Anyway, he since filed a lawsuit against the operator of the site trying to find out who snitched. Erick also apologized in a lengthy Instagram post, reading in part: “I acted out my compulsive behaviors while at home by performing on camera for other men. I unequivocally apologize to my employers at Spectrum, my co-workers, my audience, my family and my friends. But let me be clear about something, I don’t apologize for being openly gay or being sex positive.” To be fair, the channels should have known something was up when he kept drying hurricanes in the shape of giant dongs on the weather map.

Kat, isn’t the leaker always worse than the leaky?

TIMPF: I don’t like, I —

GUTFELD: You know what I mean? Like why? It’s, it’s the person who pushes his — it’s not his fault.

TIMPF: Yes, I don’t really see what he has to apologize for.


TIMPF: Like why can’t you be like kinky and a weatherman?

GUTFELD: Yes. Aren’t they all — weather men are kinky?

TIMPF: He’s, he doesn’t — like, why can’t you do that, and then also do the, how does that interfere with your ability to tell me if it’s going to be cold out?

GUTFELD: Exactly.

TIMPF: I don’t get it. And like the Web, it wasn’t like he was doing it randomly. It was like a Web site where it’s like, you know, SeeMyPenis.com or whatever, something like that. You go there because you want to see people’s penises. He was just you know, he was fitting in.

GUTFELD: He’s fitting in. He just wanted to fit in.

TIMPF: That’s what you do to fit in when you’re on that Web site.


TIMPF: It’d be more offensive if he was on that Web site with his clothes on.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, that —

TIMPF: Why did I logon to this?

GUTFELD: You know, Mikey, why is, you know, why not be a capitalist and combine the two things, like do you, do an app. Maybe I have a name, and call it a Warm Front?


GUTFELD: But anyway —

BAKER: There’s a pressure system building here.

GUTFELD: Yes. He could combine the two, and it’ll probably be worth millions in a year.

BAKER: Yes, absolutely. And you know what, they told me that a lot of viewers of the weather in New York wouldn’t tune in anyway.


BAKER: I mean, they double your fun, and then bring the llama in.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, I still think it’s unfair that you know, that like you get in trouble for like, OK, 30 years ago if this stuff was available to other people that are now laughing about it, right? If, we didn’t have these things?

TYRUS: Yes. First of all, I’m so sorry that you had to come walk into this, but —

KUSHNER: I just think you guys are being a little tough. A lot of people have to take on second jobs with the inflation and he’s trying to supplement. It’s OK.

TYRUS: Yes, I feel (INAUDIBLE) for you to protect you. To be, to be serious it was again, not my cup of tea, but it was behind an adult pay window.


TYRUS: It was in a clear word, adults only, and he didn’t bring it to work. So, the hell with you all.

GUTFELD: That’s a great point. He was, he had separated it.


GUTFELD: Right. Weather man, they don’t have a —

TYRUS: I don’t, I don’t know Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Anyway — coming up in New York apartment the size of an overhead compartment. That’s a wrap.


GUTFELD: Would you blow a gasket over a rental the size of a casket? In Manhattan, that’s in New York, Kat. It’s $650 per month for an 80-square- foot apartment. That’s room for only 80 square feet. I was just thinking about people with square feet. A YouTuber interviewed a woman named Elena Redondo who showed off her tiny pad which doesn’t have an onion — which doesn’t have an oven, a shower or even a toilet. Just how I like it.

So, it has no toilet but it does have a sink. I’ve never really understood the difference. But this audience — Redondo shares the bathroom down the hall with their neighbors. Shocking many New Yorkers who prefer to use the street. It’s got a loft bed, but I wonder if she ever brings boys up there.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you bringing boys up here?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s never happened.

REDONDO: I tell them like it’s actually not possible. Like, they’re like, we won’t judge you, and I’m like no, it’s not about judging, it’s like you actually won’t fit.


GUTFELD: Well, challenge accepted. Perhaps, this is why so many New Yorkers are heading to Florida. This year, nearly 42,000 people have switched their driver’s licenses from the Empire to the Sunshine State. Yes, Florida where $650 rental includes parking, a porch, and a sunroom for your meth addicted alligator.

Jared, I have two questions. You are, you, you are a big player in the real estate market. Aren’t these tiny apartments just an anomaly and that’s why they get covered; and B. you moved out in New York, do you miss the crime and the drugs and the homelessness?

KUSHNER: Well, first of all, I would have loved to have seen Tyrus fit in that apartment, that would have been, if possible.

TYRUS: Just like the weatherman, it isn’t happening.

KUSHNER: But I will say, you know, we lived in New York for a long time. We loved it. It’s an incredible city. I think it does have great energy to it now, but we went to Florida, I told my wife — we’re about 30 years ahead of schedule, because we’re all going to move down there anyway. But it’s been a great lifestyle and we’ve enjoyed it. So, but it’s still nice to be in New York and I guess people who are coming here, you have a lot of vibrancy and they’re fitting in wherever they can.

GUTFELD: Interesting. Tyrus.

TYRUS: He’s just so sweet, isn’t he?

GUTFELD: Yes. He’s exactly the son-in-law you would want.

TYRUS: Yes, it all makes sense now.

GUTFELD: Yes. And then he, and then he says, she’s got to convert.


GUTFELD: And then he’s like OK. Fine.

TYRUS: Yes, I don’t I have no comment about the — basically, it was the size of my shoe — apartment that she was in.

GUTFELD: Every apartment is like that to you.

TYRUS: Yes, yes, I don’t like apartments, I don’t do apartments. Plus, I usually don’t want to have enemies whoever lives underneath me because their entire life is, how many — but, yes, a lot of people are leaving, they go to Florida, not just for the sun. They like seeing the, the police, the sheriffs. They like to be able to not walk-through feces, drugs, et cetera or be — had their heads bashed in while they’re going to the Walgreens. So, yes, there’s a lot of reasons why New Yorkers are leaving. And it’s sad because it’s an easy fix. Invest in our police departments, bring back our men and women in blue, and start, and start prosecuting.

GUTFELD: It is sad, Mike, because when you hear people talk about, whether it’s New York City or San Diego, Bill Walton was talking about how, you grew up in San Diego.


GUTFELD: How he, like, it is heart, it’s heartbreaking for people who grew up in areas that are not, that have regressed.


GUTFELD: Like it’s, it’s not a thing about a place changing. It’s that when a place regresses. That is what’s heartbreaking.

BAKER: Right. Which is, which is the problem here in New York. Obviously, if anybody remembers the 70s, you know, early 80s in the work, you remember how bad it was? And then, yes, and then it got, then it got good, right? Because we did focus on things like, you know, prosecuting crimes and you know, getting the police out there.

And now, it’s going back that way. Portland is the same way. My family lived in Portland for a long time back in the heyday. Now, you go there and you can’t recognize it. It’s, it’s an absolute mess. But my favorite story going to the tiny apartment thing, because talking about the decline of American cities, I find that very depressing.

In the story, my favorite quote from the story was as for sleeping, and you alluded to this in the in the clip, the bed is loft and close to the ceiling, which prevents guys from staying over. It wouldn’t actually prevent guys from staying over if they weren’t going to hope they engage in sex. But that’s the point of the story is that it’s so close to the ceiling that they can’t do the mess around right because I mean, that’s, that’s what she’s implying by this right? Now, if I’m her parent, I’m going to be a little upset reading this story.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, maybe that’s just a cover, Kat. Maybe she’s saying I can’t, like she goes you can’t come over because the ceiling is too low.

TIMPF: Yes, because you can only have sex in a bed.

BAKER: Well, can’t you?

TIMPF: Just say no.

GUTFELD: Yes. Don’t say llama.

TIMPF: Yes, I know. He’s like I found a place to put the llama thing again. Imagine being you —

BAKER: I don’t know, just imagine. Let’s all stop for a second I’m imagining.

TYRUS: What a (INAUDIBLE) on his life?

TIMPF: It doesn’t seem that bad. Studio apartment average in New York is $3,400 a month, and the all that that really has that she doesn’t have is a toilet. And she has a toilet down the hall. It’s not that bad. Although, I don’t — that’s her dog? She’s like a big adult dog living in there.


TIMPF: Is that guy OK?


TIMPF: Doesn’t look like it.

GUTFELD: Yes, that’s actually the unspoken part of this story.

TIMPF: That dog does not look like it’s having a good day.

GUTFELD: No, no, he’s going, please bring me to the pound.

TYRUS: Stuck in a shoebox.

GUTFELD: Take me to the shelter. He’s like a reverse rescue dog. Please, kidnap me.

BAKER: We used to give, we used to give high-value targets more room in their interrogation cell.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, you don’t want to get their hopes up before you strangled them. All right.

BAKER: Sorry.

GUTFELD: Up next, the FDA says it’s unwise to pour NyQuil on chicken breasts.



GUTFELD: Story in five words: don’t put NyQuil on chicken. Kat, in response to a TikTok trend the FDA is warning people against cooking chicken in NyQuil because it’s dangerous. Will this stop you from cooking chicken in Nyquil?

TIMPF: I don’t cook.


TIMPF: That would be what stops me. This, the FDA, we pay for the FDA, just so depressing.


TIMPF: There’s no reason to cook chicken in Nyquil. Because it’s stupid. It’s dangerous, yes. And it’s also not even the kind of cough syrup that gets you high.

GUTFELD: That’s true. Which is, which is what —

TIMPF: Oh, I have no idea.

GUTFELD: Mike, did this ever occur to you? Did you ever do this?

BAKER: Look, I admit I love NyQuil. Works like a charm.

GUTFELD: You got, you’ve done the ZzzQuil?


GUTFELD: The ZzzQuil is amazing.

BAKER: Yes, ZzzQuil, you combine the two with a chaser, right?

GUTFELD: Yes, no.

BAKER: And it’s very good. And I also love chicken, but I would never combine the two.

GUTFELD: Yes, why do you combine two things that have two different purposes, purposes?


GUTFELD: Am I having a stroke? So, today, today, the words have been escaping my mouth before I have a chance to formulate them. No, like the one is for food and the other ones for you know, feeling better. It doesn’t make it doesn’t make any sense.

BAKER: It makes no sense whatsoever.

GUTFELD: Well, thank you for that help.

BAKER: You’re welcome.

GUTFELD: Jared, another topic for you to apply your genius to.

KUSHNER: I see you guys are struggling with trying to figure out who would put NyQuil on chicken and I can only assume it’s because you haven’t worked in Washington to meet the types of people who would probably think that this is a good idea.

GUTFELD: They would probably then put aside $400 million for NyQuil subsidies.

KUSHNER: Oh, and then they study it, and then they do it, and it depends if the Democrats want it and the Republicans wouldn’t want it. It’d be very complicated.

GUTFELD: And if it’s not ZzzQuil, I won’t do it.


GUTFELD: So, then, we have those ZzzQuil-NyQuil war, Tyrus, it’s like the rap wars.

TYRUS: Yes, exactly not. Oh geez, putting NyQuil on chicken. Bad idea. No, (BLEEP). China is having so much fun with us with TikTok.

GUTFELD: It is true.

TYRUS: How many more — I mean, I’m anti-TikTok. I don’t have it. It’s not allowed in my household because I let my kids get dumb on their own.

BAKER: But the great thing about this story is this TikTok video came out a year ago and to Kat’s point, the FDA just now came out with a warning — a year later.

TIMPF: If you needed someone to tell you not to do this, you are already dead.

GUTFELD: Yes. But Tyrus is right. This is, you know, TikTok is China’s best tool to work to work on us making us all dumber, draining us of precious time, and stealing your soul, if you have one. I’m not sure I have one.

TYRUS: You had me to soul part.

GUTFELD: Don’t go away we’ll be right back.


GUTFELD: We’re out of time. Thanks to Jared Kushner, great book; Mike Baker, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with Mike Emanuel is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld, I love you America.

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